Ok so there I am living my life going work saving as much money as I could and planning for the future.  Even thou I was working these crazy hours out of shape and not getting proper sleep. I was actually feeling pretty good about life. A funny thing happens when you’re working 25 hours of overtime a week. You make a lot money.  Even thou I was getting completely extorted by the government in taxation I still saved more money than I ever did before. So I’m keeping my eyes on the prize and shopping for a truck to haul cars with. A  Cumming Ram 5500 or 3500 I planned on starting with a 3 car wedge trailer. I’m checking the prices everyday doing the math in my head and figuring how to balance the financing not wanting to start my business with too much debt. And just trying stay motivated its helps when you’re watching your saving account grow and grow.  I never gamble or play lotto because I know that God is not going to let become rich like that. It’s not going happen that easy for me .I’m completely ok with that. People forget the object of life is not to make money. How hollow would that be if that was the only meaning to existence was to worship money. No life is about playing your part to help elevate society as a whole. Money is a utility a gear that helps the system function. Everybody in this world has  a part to play and a purpose to fulfill. And I know that I am not going get my share of loot until I am able to contribute something substantially valuable to society. If one was motivated to do such a thing I don’t feel like it is very difficult to accumulate lots money but it depends on how it is executed that’s going to determine your level of gratification and contentment.   You know why there so many depressed people in the world for the most part it is because those people are not fulfilling their purpose in the universe. When I was working for my previous employer did I feel like I was fulfilling my role in life? Well no but I did feel good about what I was doing. I worked in asset recovery and lot of what we did was shipping retired IT equipment back to our facilities to be recycled. With so many industries hell bent on destroying the earth. It felt good to be part of one that was helping to preserve the planet. There was some things I really enjoyed about the job. I felt important when the company was flying me all across the country to take to complete assignments and handle business. I really enjoy flying and there something really exciting about the airport to me it seems like there so much energy and vibrations in the atmosphere.  They gave me an American express corporate card for my meals and expenses. Boy I tell you I was eating good eating out for almost every meal. They leased me a brand new 26 foot  freightliner truck that no one else ever drove except me. As I look at the situation from hindsight and from the outside looking in.  I feel like the situation really suppressed me and was probably one of the reasons for my drinking. So what I mean is this on one hand I’m making more money consistently then I ever have past. On the other hand honestly it still really wasn’t enough not for the amount of time and energy I was putting in to it. But none the less I was making some  financial progress but when you work a job now matter how hard work you’re only going to make a certain amount.  So I know I’m going to save approximately few thousand a month. I know how much I need to save to get to my goal of starting a hauling business. It kind of puts me in to a state of purgatory until then  where I can’t really move forward with my bigger plans in life. Where I am basically just biding my time until I can save up however much that amount of money is.  In a fewer words what I mean is it’s not like if I bust tail working harder this week I’ll get a bonus. I might work more hours that week but I’m still making pretty much the same amount. That’s really a mind numbing thought. But what are you going to do? You got to play the cards your dealt.

So there I am 3 years in going about my routine. I always kept my luggage packed so I can just grab my bags and hit the road. On this particular day it was a Tuesday in the middle of July I had my bags packed in the truck with me ready to spend at least two nights in the bay area. I’m somewhere in the San Jose area in the client’s parking lot filling out my BOLs and other paperwork and getting ready to do my pick up. The odd thing about morning was there was companywide conference call scheduled on my calendar. I didn’t think much of it, these calls didn’t happen frequently but when they did it was usually really boring and full of useless information. So I dial into the meeting and the head of company is leading the call he’s calling role and greets everyone individually after they respond to their name. This is my first time hearing his voice he has an English accent. He’s let us know that he is currently on holiday camping on the beach but he has a statement to read to us. The statement is this : “after recent analysis the company has decided to restructure its business and shutdown. Your job has been impacted. You will receive a call from a HR representative in a few minutes. I’m going to end call now.” and he hangs up.  There I am with my pen in my hand still filling out paperwork.  I look up and ask myself out loud. What the hell just happened? Did my job just break up with me?.................